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Dan Owen reviews

DAN'S   MOVIE   DIGEST

2 0 0 3   R e t r o s p e c t i v e

P a r t   T h r e e

S.W.A.T.

Another US TV show gets the movie treatment, this time with Mr Cool himself Samuel L. Jackson and the hardest-working actor of 2003 - Colin Farrell.

The first half is an entertaining mix of macho posing and funky music, but S.W.A.T sadly degenerates into a formulaic action-fest with a few decent scenes to warrant your attention on DVD, I suppose...

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES

He said he'd be back. That it would take thirteen years he forgot to mention. Let's be honest here - the signs weren't good. Arnold Schwarzenegger's career was in freefall post-Batman & Robin, legendary director James Cameron wasn't returning and star Linda Hamilton publicly denounced the project. Inevitably the potential for a cash-in sequel was tangible, but surprisingly T3 was a solid entry.

When viewed alongside its illustrious forbearers there's simply no denying T3 is the weakest movie. In fact, at times it resembles the most expensive-looking TV pilot ever commissioned. But... and this is key to the film's success - at least it didn't destroy the franchise. T3 was a mix of earlier concepts given some tweaks, with far too many gags but some well-integrated special-effects. Oh, and it was also the most unique political campaign machine ever devised...

Dan's Movie review
Dom's DVD review

THE ITALIAN JOB

You don't mess with perfection. Which is why the Yanks got their claws into the classic British heist movie. Come on, admit it, The Italian Job isn't that special. Beyond a few one-liners, Michael Caine and (for the time) a decent car chase, it wasn't anything to cream your pants over.

Thankfully, the Yank Job (oo-er) managed to twist the basic concept into an entertaining piece of fluff, even if the trailer gave away the entire plot and Ed Norton wined like a brat about his involvement for months on end...

THE LORD OF THE RINGS - THE RETURN OF THE KING

At time of writing, I haven't seen the final part of Peter Jackson's modern classic. But I'd be very surprised if it disappointed me. Another adventure packed full of wonderful scenery, stunning cinematography, a gorgeous soundtrack, great acting, unsurpassable special-effects and fluid storytelling.

Return Of The King deserves to scoop the Academy Awards next year because - after all - The Two Towers was the worst book, and look how that one turned out!
(I hope...)

THE MATRIX RELOADED

To some this was the biggest disappointment of 2003. Perhaps they're right, but after 4 years of massive anticipation what else could it have been?

Reloaded may not be as unique and as accomplished as the startling original, but it was still a very entertaining movie packed with mind-blowing visual-effects and asked some intriguing questions. Just a shame that after such a great set-up, the pay-off wouldn't be that satisfying...

THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS

Ah, yes, the final part - released in the same year, too. Despite critical backlash after Reloaded, the eagerness to see The Wachowski Brothers complete their cyberpunk trilogy sustained Revolutions and enabled it to do big business worldwide.

Of course, Revolutions came in for even worse criticism amongst fans - who bemoaned the lack of answers to questions posed in Reloaded (mainly by the Architect). So just how could Neo destroy Sentinels in the real world? Buggered if I know, but I do know that it made much more sense of Zion wasn't real... ho-hum...

Movie review

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Tobe Hooper's 70's original is a revered piece of horror that contemporary audiences tend to watch and - frankly - laugh that their parents ever thought it was that scary.

So the guy who brought us Pearl Harbor (Michael Bay) decided to produce an update starring Jessica Biehl, which actually wasn't that bad. It's too flash and hip for its own good, never approaching the original's raw documentary-style... but it has some genuine chills along the way.

UNDERWORLD

It could have been so dumb and so deliciously good. But we just got dumb. How could they fail to weave an entertaining story in a movie filled with vampires, werewolves, a Romeo & Juliet-style plot and Matrix costume-fitting. They even persuaded Pearl Harbor English rose Kate Beckinsale to pour herself into skin-tight leather.

Sadly, Underworld became one of 2003's biggest disappointments. A low-grade Blade rip-off with only a few entertaining scenes and some laboured plotting. Underworld II and III is already being planned, naturally... it did have vampires and werewolves in it, remember...

X-MEN 2

For many, X-Men 2 was the best superhero movie of the year. X2 effortlessly surpassed its original, with more mutants, more action, better effects and a more entertaining story. Hugh Jackman has yet to break free of Wolverine's shadow, but there's no denying his star power.

Hopefully next summer's Van Helsing will do the trick. Elsewhere, fans went mad for Alan Cumming's teleporting Nightcrawler and some sexy Mystique shenanigans...

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