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(Addams Family 1 & 2, Get Shorty, Men in Black 1 & 2, Raising Arizona, Wild Wild West)
Producers:
Laurie MacDonald and Walter F. Parkes
Screenplay:
Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro
Music:
Danny Elfman
Cast:
Agent K: Tommy Lee Jones
Agent J: Will Smith
Laura Vasquez: Rosario Dawson
Serleena: Lara Flynn Boyle
Scrad/Charlie: Johnny Knoxville
Jeebs: Tony Shalhoub
Agent T: Patrick Warburton
Himself: Peter Graves
MIB Director Agent Zed: Rip Torn
Frank the Pug (voice): Tim Blaney
How do films get to be this bad?,
The original
Men in Black
was to
Ghostbusters,
as
Men in Black 2
is to
Ghostbusters II,
i.e. it's a sequel that should never have happened when all they had for a
script was one so completely piss-poor that it shouldn't have left the drawing
board. By comparison, it makes those made-for-TV sequels look abundant with
originality.
Lara Flynn Boyle plays Serleena, a bizarre woman with a snake-head who
only resembles the actress who plays her after seeing a modelling catalogue
and then assimilating her appearance. She's come to Earth to find The Light of
Zartha, whatever that is. It doesn't matter why, either, since I didn't grasp
that and it's not something you should concern yourself with. She's just looking
for it and that's all you need to know.
Whereas the trailer almost instantly drops Tommy Lee Jones back into the
frame, as a post office worker called Kevin, it takes around 30 minutes before
he appears in this short film, since only he, as Agent K, knows something or
other about this Light and he'll need to be found first and deneuralised before
Agent J (Will Smith) can retrieve the information and, thus, save planet
Earth. Got that?
At around 80 minutes before the closing credits kick in, it's too short a movie
and feels rushed at the start. Looking back, the first film probably had as
much content when it came to dealing with its storyline, but it was extended
courtesy of the introduction as Will Smith was chosen to join the men in the
black suits.
Tommy Lee Jones returns to defeat alien scum.
I thought that perhaps the shortfall in entertainment would be made up in the
CGI effects, especially with five years to improve upon from the first film
and since the Edgar alien was quite a treat to look at, but no. Alien
prosthetics are no different than in the original and so look incredibly dated.
As for the CGI, this dates even more so. Scrad (Johnny Knoxville) has
a second head that evolves from a very long neck, appearing out of his backpack,
but it doesn't look so much drawn in with Microsoft Paint, as drawn onto a
piece of paper and stuck over the film print with glue, such is its unconvincing
nature. Just what were they thinking?
And if that wasn't enough, then please get rid of Frank the dog. He just
unwantedly chips in like Jar Jar Binks and makes as much sense, pausing only
to sing tunes like "I Will Survive" and "Who Let the Dogs Out?" (surprise,
sur-fucking-prise!) It's enough to make you cringe with as much embarrassment
as watching an ITV sitcom.
To add insult to injury, Michael Jackson pops up in a brief cameo as
an MiB agent. It's quite fitting that he's amongst aliens and other weird-looking
creatures, but it's clear that he hasn't got any acting talent and should not
try to make out a thespian career now that his musical one has gone down the
dumper.
Oh, hang on, what happened to Agent L/Elle (Linda Fiorentino). She's
explained away, badly, with a single line somewhere along the way.
I have no complaints on the audio-visual scale. A crisp anamorphic 1.85:1
widescreen image has great flesh tones and lets the full flavour of the special
effects breathe out (when they're worth watching).
Sonically, when something's going on all the speakers will let you know about
it, while quiter moments will make good use of atmospherics all around you.
Special effects-wise, there doesn't seem to be as much going on as there
should be in this sequel though.
Do Agent Jay a favour. Look closely and click on this picture.
Like the first film, this title is also abundant in extras, although thankfully
we've been spared two separate releases as some companies are learning that
we all want our extras from day one (this didn't seem to work for
Panic Room, which
is apparently due a Special Edition release at some point, although this might
be Region 1-only).
Disc 1:
Alien Broadcast: A feature that's used time-to-time on DVDs. An icon
will appear onscreen at irregular intervals during the film. Press 'enter'
when you see it, and the film will temporarily stop to show extra "making of" footage,
here containing up-to-the-minute transmissions from the Alien Broadcast Network.
Those with
The Matrix
will know it as the "White Rabbit" feature.
Frank's Favourites: A collection of trailers. Four for MIB2 (Teaser,
Theatrical and two computer games), plus ones for Ghostbusters, Stuart Little
2, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and a CGI short film,The Chubb Chubbs (16:9 anamorphic, 5½ mins),
about a janitor at an alien nightclub who gets his wish to become a singer. I'd hazard a guess that this short played in cinemas before MIB2.
The MIIB: Crossfire Game trailer states that a demo is available on this
DVD, but given that it looks a bit of a ropey third-person game with an
isometric view with the 'camera' held up far too high to be useful, I think
I'll pass. In fact, only the other game, "Alien Escape", seems to be available
in the USA and neither of them here in the UK.
MIB Training Video (6 mins, 4:3): An easter egg that's not visibly part of the
main menu unless your cursor goes past the alien holding a newspaper.
Agent T shows us interview clips with so-called celebrities that he claims
are aliens. Presumably America have different interviews than us, but sadly
we get to endure the likes of Vernon Kay and Richard Madeley,
but alternative you do get to gaze at the lovely Caprice.
The links from Agent T are neutral enough to suggest that the scripts are
the same from country to country.
Audio Commentary: featuring director Barry Sonnenfeld.
This film's alien scum.
Disc 2:
Special Delivery: MIIB Orb (60½ mins, 4:3):
The 'orb' is an intro sequence to
nine short featurettes that look at various aspects of the film, such as CGI
work, re-dubbing of dialogue and Danny Elfman's music score.
With the orb, you can select any or all of these in the order that you choose,
but some of this footage will be what you've seen earlier from Disc 1's "Alien
Broadcast" feature.
Blooper Reel (5 mins, 1.85:1 letterbox):
Cock-up clips, some of which Denis Norden would be proud of.
Multi-angle scene deconstructions (7½ mins, 1.85:1 letterbox):
See how the effects were put together. The opening sequence, not looking much
different but listed as 'alternate version', Jay and Jeff - the underground
worm, a car chase and two parts to the fight scene with Jarra.
Alternate Ending (2 mins, 4:3):
Alternate, but not much better.
Creature Featurettes (27 mins, 4:3):
Chat about some of the films creatures - Scrad/Charlie, the worms that hang out at
MIB HQ, Serleena, Jeebs, Jarra, Jeff the worm and Alien Esoterica (the four
thugs ordered by Serleena to go after our heroes), plus Barry Sonnenfeld's
Intergalactic Guide to Comedy, in which he comments that he's only yet
directed comedies. Hmm... MIB2 didn't make me laugh much.
Theatrical One-Sheets:
Posters, in other words. Four of them.
Music Video (4½ mins, 4:3):
The original "Men in Black" theme, a basic play on "Forget-me-nots", was
catchy, but "Black Suits Comin' (Nod Ya Head)" is quite fitting for this
sequel since they both match each other in terms of quality(!)
Filmographies:
The main cast members, plus all the crew listed atop this review, not including
Danny Elfman. Even then, they're only "selected filmographies".
DVD-ROM content: More behind-the-scenes featurettes, concept
designs for MIB2, the MIB2 screenplay, a screensaver and the aforementioned
"Crossfire" game demo.
If you enjoyed the film you may take a look at those extras a second time, but
there's not much to be gleamed that you won't get from paying attention the
first time round.
Most of the menus are nicely animated and scored, in keeping with the film's
theme, there are subtitles in English and Dutch for the film (but only Dutch for
the extras - why never in English, Columbia TriStar??) and the film is divided
into 28 chapters.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
