Johnny: Ernie Reyes, Jr.
Adam: Nicolas Crown
Iggy: Ron Schneider
Colonel Chi: Leslie Nielsen
Zatch: Ernie Reyes, SR.
I know what you're saying.
Why is he reviewing such a low brow DVD
release like Surf Ninjas that probably only sold one copy (which I
REGRETABLY purchased)? Well I'll tell you why. You want to know the
real meaning of DVD Fever? Nostalgia. Movies from yesteryears of golden
memories, films that were always fun, and movies you did not scrutinize
before adult hood. The moment you see these in stores you're like "wow,
I used to think that movie was great and now I can own it on something
as cool as DVD!"
Well, I shelled out 15 bucks for this (then I saw it
at Best Buy for 10 bucks, very ticked) and have discovered that not
every movie is as good as it used to be. Some can stand the test of time
(i.e. the first two Turtle films) but this... let's just say that in
a 100 years, film historians aren't going to be exactly trying to
restore this and will cite it as an example of bad cinema. In fact, the
DVD will probably be discontinued and never to see the light of day
again.
Surf Ninjas has quite an amazing story (I hope you can detect the level
of sarcasm here because I'm going to lay it on pretty thick). I'll say
it in the same manner of cheesiness the box does. Surf's up dudes! Two
way cool California brothers are mondo wave riders and life's just one
big beach. When a mysterious guy with a patch over his eye, Zatch, tells
the dudes that they are really crowned princes from a far off island,
the two are attacked by some gnarly ninjas with one goal: to kill the
dudes!
Now the race is on as the two dudes, with their airhead friend Iggy, and
a cop caught in the middle, must rescue their island from the evil grip
of the crazy mean metal dude, Colonel Chi! Surf's up, dudes!
You should read the back of the box, I was laughing so hard I actually
pulled a muscle in my stomach. Surf's up and dudes is uttered at nauseum
and we haven't even got to the movie yet. I'll start off by saying at
least ONE good thing about the movie and it's enough to save it from 1
star territory. The fights are actually done very well and are pretty
cool. Okay, let the ripping begin, I may be able to fill one paragraph
with complaints.
The acting is atrocious. You may remember Johnny as Kino from Turtles 2
but he's not all that bad, it's cool to see him back in a movie but Rob
Schneider co-stars as a teenager and you can tell he'll never mention
this in his resume. Then there's Leslie Nielsen as a villian! His face
is enclosed in metal by, get this, being crushed by an elephant! HA HA!
I swear, this is what comedy's made of! You keep waiting for him to do
something funny but the best we get is a cheesy answer machine message
and him sharpening a blender! VERY bad move on his part.
If I were him
and the script showed up on my door stop I would have buried it in a
landfill at once. Then one of the brothers can see the future through
his GameGear! Whoa, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?
The story is not paced well and even at 87 minutes I found myself quite
restless. Oh yeah, did I mention the acting?
Surf Ninjas is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with a 4:3
transfer included as well. Despite the terrible movie, New Line has put
a decent transfer on the disc. I was a bit disappointed with this
transfer after watching the excellent Turtles 2 and 3 presentations. The
picture is bright and colored and all but there's a level of dirt
applied that gives it an aged look. Dirt and scratches are seen a few
times but pixelization and edge enhancement is absent. Overall, pretty
good but it could have been as good as the TMNT II and III discs.
Sound is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 stereo surround. Nothing
exciting or explosive to write home about here. But it suits the movie
well and you won't have any problem with dialogue interlacing and such.
As with all of New Line's recently released kiddie line (funny because
the kids these movies were made for are grown up and can appreciate
extras) a theatrical trailer and a lousy Pick That Flick game are all we
get. While I could stomach the game on the TMNT discs, It's officially
reached the level of crap. The theatrical trailer is actually funny and
harknens back to the days of cheesy promos. I REALLY wish we could have
gotten some documentaries or something on the TMNT discs by the way.
Each of New Line's kid flicks have 20 chapters. The packaging is amaray
(NL has officially dropped the snapper case by the way) and is bordered
in white just like the TMNT discs. If you find this in the store, read
the back for a gut busting good laugh.
Overall, I'm going to keep this film in my collection for it's level of
cheesiness much like a horror film fan keeps a copy of Plan 9 From Outer
Space in theirs. This movie is so painfully bad now that I cannot
reccommend it if you're not a kid. Bad plot, bad script, and Leslie
Nielsen as a villian drag this down like a piece of lead tied to a
balloon. The fever of nostalgia, what a terrible force.
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
