Distributed by
Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment
Cert: PG
Cat.no: 00635
Running time: 80 minutes
Year: 2002
Pressing: 2003
Region(s): 1, NTSC
Chapters: 28
Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1 (Eng only)
Languages: English, French, Spanish
Subtitles: English, French, Spanish
Fullscreen: 4:3 (you know where this is going)
16:9-Enhanced: No
Macrovision: No
Disc Format: DVD 9
Price: $27.98
Extras:
Audio Commentary, Alternate and Deleted Scenes, 3 Featurettes,
Music Video, Theatrical Trailer
Director:
Percy Andelin Blake
Screenplay:
Dana Carvey and Harris Goldberg
Cast:
Pistachio: Dana Carvey
Devlin Bowman: Brent Spiner
Fabrizzio: James Brolin
Jennifer: Jennifer Esposito
Grandfather: Harold Gould
Despite box office revenue, Sony did not have a good 2002.
Not only did they disrespect many fans by releasing some catalogue titles in
full frame only and announce that nearly every DVD would later have a special
edtion but the bottom line was that their movies were not that great.
Spider-Man:
Moderately tolerable,
Men in Black II:
garbage on every level imaginable,
xXx:
quite possibly the funniest movie that wasn't supposed to be funny at all,
Mr. Deeds: don't get me started level of
garbage. All those turned big profits, especialy Spider-Man, but they
were all machinations of terrible hype. And then this. This THING that
somehow was labled as entertainment. And what does it go and do? Suprise
everyone by debuting with a $12 million opening. Oh yes folks, it was a
sad day indeed.
I know what you're saying. This guy LOVES to make fun of the bad movies
doesn't he? I'll admit it, some movies absolutely were tailor made for
my sarcastic remarks that I will throw out when I saw an oppurtune time.
Let's get a few things straight though,
1. this movie was obviously not made for adults
2. Dana Carvey still has my respect, and
3. a few scenes got a laugh out. A laugh as in one.
Master of Disguise tells the story of a Italian servant by the name
Pistachio who realizes he is one in the line of master disguisists. When
his parents are kidnapped he learns the art of disguise from his
grandfather to save the day. Then for no apparent reason he putzes
around, auditioning for an assistant. While his father changes into
"important figures" like Jesse Ventura and Jessica Simpson to steal
timeless objects for a villain played by Brent "should stay as Data
only" Spiner. Real Academy Award material here folks.
Dana Carvey's performance is decent, though. A couple of his characters
provided a few laughs like Turtle Guy, Terry Suave, and President George
W. Bush. That's it for quality. Brent Spiner plays a villian that has to
pass gas every time he laughs and only shows the fact that he should
stick to playing Data in Star Trek (although his performance in
Independence Day
is memorable). For 80 minutes we are treated to an
abysmal story and an ending that must have been conceived five seconds
before shooting. Now, after watching the garbage that was
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
this film is solid gold but tarnished completely. Don't approach without caution.
Warning, Get ready for a rant.
Columbia Tristar has maintained the
mentality that "if it's a kids movie it doesn't deserve to be
widescreen". They must have thought that kids would have a hard time
choosing. At one time this title was to have a widescreen version
included on the disc but was for some reason dropped.
Columbia has been
doing this for a while now, many catalogue titles like Road to Wellville
were given poor full frame transfers for the sake that Joe Six Pack
hates the black bars. Educate them for crying out loud! It's not their
fault they hate widescreen, mount a campaign, pass out flyers at video
stores, do something! EVERY film desrves to be in it's original aspect
ratio regardless of quality. And to add insult, the back of the box
touts the stars as appearing in several movies that are not for kids
like Don't Say a Word and
Traffic.
This was a widescreen release and Columbia announced it as one but didn't want
people to know until it was already purchased (can't imagine who those people
would be though).
So, ... If you haven't noticed, the transfer is full frame only. Not only is it
FOOL frame but it's a pretty spotty transfer to boot with grain
apparent, pixelization evident, and edge enhancement. The score gets a
half reduction anyway for being full frame but it's not that great as it
is.
Also terrible is the audio. For a 5.1 track there is not much ambience
and a sense of dead air could be heard. I know it sounds like I'm just
ripping on the disc because it's not widescreen but I'm being serious.
The track just isn't that loud.
Columbia has provided some extras for the release which are in
widescreen, better watch out because kids apparently can't stand black
bars.
Audio Commentary:
By director Perry Blake and Dana Carvey. Of course
the two never let on about the mockery of a film they have made. Wait a
minute, do you think kids could give a hoot about a commentary track?
Alternate/ Deleted Scenes:
Each scene features a new intro by Turtle
Guy! Be still my beating heart. There are 6 total and are presented in
non-anamorphic 1.85:1. These scenes add more to the compost heap
although the alternate ending featuring my favorite superhero Captain
America was watchable.
3 Featurettes:
"The Magic of Disguise", "Identity Crisis", and "Man of
a Thousand Faces". All non-anamorphic 1.85:1. Not as much fluff as I
expected.
Music Video:
M.A.S.T.E.R. Part 2. Terrible song to a terrible movie. 'Nuff said.
Theatrical Trailers:
Master of Disguise (anamorphic 1.85:1), Kermit's
Swamp Years (full frame), and Little Secrets (non-anamorphic 1.85:1).
The only thing worth watching is the Captain America alternate ending,
the featurettes are only for those who like the movie and most will
probably not.
Packaging is amaray featuring a decent theatrical poster for its cover.
The menus are animated and are anamorphic to add further insult to
injury. The film is split into 28 chapters.
The Master of Disguise is a bad movie. Not the worst movie of 2002 (that
goes to Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever) but pretty close. Columbia would have
provided a decent disk if the feature were in widescreen but to no
avail. It would still be a bad movie though.
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
