Extras:
Outtakes, Dance Grooves, Behind the Gas, Marsupial Magic, Two Audio
Commentaries, Theatrical Trailer, Cast & Crew.
Director:
David McNally
Screenplay:
Steve Bing and Scott Rosenberg
Cast:
Charlie: Jerry O'Connell
Louis: Anthony Anderson
Jessie: Estella Warren
Frankie: Michael Shannon
Sal: Christopher Walken
Kids have it bad nowadays.
Despite video games and the internet they
have a piss poor selection of filmmed entertainment. When I was a kid
films like Willy Wonka and the Chocalate Factory enthralled me, I must
have watched that VHS more than a hundred different times. And then
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
which I believe still holds the top spot of my films watched the most
(Dawn of the Dead may rival that soon). The point to all this nostalgia
is that kid films back then were simple but packed a whole lot of charm.
Sure for every Problem Child flick you've got Bingo or Monkey Trouble
but they were fresh and full of laughs.
Fast forward to the 21st Century and what do kids have to look forward
to when they go to the movies? Animated adventures of characters that
they only cared about ten minutes ago (see the recent "success" or
Rugrats Go Wild or
The Powerpuff Girls Movie
for evidence on that) trapped in a myriad of flatulent jokes
lost in a plethora of commercialism. The only good kids flick out there
right now is the Harry Potter series which I believe has that charm I
remember from the good ole days.
For every filmmaking innovation we have a film like this. A film that
stops dead in the tracks of innovation and blurts out ,"screw you guys
I'm going to be a lazy bum and ponder to the lowest common denominator
in entertainment". This is Kangaroo Jack and this is his failure.
At childhood, Louis (Anthony Anderson) saves Charlie (Jerry O'Connell)
from drowning. The two become best friends and twenty years later Louis
still gets favors because of the incident that began it all. When
Charlie and Louis are chased in a stolen truck with TVs that probably
were't purchased at Best Buy they inadvertedly lead the "heat" to mob
boss Sal's (Christopher Walken) warehouse of hot goods, Charlie's
stepfather.
Dissappointed in Charile, Sal sends the two to deliver a package to a
friend in Australlia. I'm having the time of my life telling you the
boring plot to this ridiculous flick by the way. On the plane ride over
they discover that it contains $50,000. Upon landing in the
land down under, they accidentally hit a
kangaroo. But instead of reporting it or something, what do they do?
They actually dress it up and take a picture with him... no kidding. The
kangaroo wakes up and hops off with Louis' coat which contained said
package. Now the two will engage in boring and overly dumb stunts to get
it back.
As if the film isn't bad enough we get little scenes with the kangaroo
(who doesn't actually talk as the promos suggested) going through the
jacket. Who the hell cares? It's CGI too and since this is a kids flick
it looks like shit (even more so than Scooby-Doo). Then halfway into the
flick we get a scene of flatulent camels. Ok, fart jokes still humor me
to some extent but this is too much. Again who the hell cares? Who the
hell cares about this movie? How the hell did it even get a green light?
Why the hell did I review this?
Real funny guys, let's take a picture
of ourselves next to a dead kangaroo.
Ok, getting my head on straight. Let's move to the video quality
department. The bad films always get the best transfers. This is easily
one of the best I've seen. Presented in anamorphic 2.35:1 widescreen the
colors just jump right off screen. Australia looks great with it's rich
palette and blue sky backdrops. A perfect transfer.
The audio also pleases as well (well the movie is still a pain in the
ass to listen to but the quality of the mastering is there). Dolby
Digital 5.1 is the order of the day and you'll notice a lot of activity.
Most of the dialouge is on the center channel of course but the track
occasionally makes use of the surround channels.
The special features on this disc remind me a lot of the waste of time
that Warner put into the extras for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's
Stone. They're made for kids and you can really tell. But I'm sure a
couple of adults will watch it (for reasons better kept unknown in my
opinion) so where's a bone for them?
Casting Sessions: Uncut:
1 minute cut of fictional Kangaroo auditions. Almost as funny as Bob Saget's
running commentary on "America's Funniest Home Videos". That was some pretty
thick sarcasm.
Behind the Gas:
The search for the sounds of the camel flatulence.
I'm not kidding this is a featurette about finding the right sound for a camel
cutting the cheese. Guaranteed to make you lose one percent of your
intelligence upon viewing.
Jackie Legs' Dance Grooves:
Anamorphic, teaches you to dance like Jackie Legs. Oh I can't contain my
excitement, no wait I'll just go play Dance Dance Revolution instead.
Outtakes:
Non-anamorphic. Suprisingly unfunny and bland. 3 minutes long.
Marsupial Magic:
Featurette on the rendering of Jackie Legs. 4 minutes and very simple.
Audio Commentaries:
One track featuring the cast and crew and a second screen-specific commentary
by Kangaroo Jack himself. This thing has Kraft Cheese smeered all over it.
Misc. Theatrical Trailer:
anamorphic, cast & crew
Nothing here at all for us more in depth film fans. The cast and crew
commentary is good... if you like the movie that is. And the Kangaroo
Jack commentary... I'll pass.
Estella Warren - the only good aspect of this film...
Packaging is the dreaded Warner snapper case displaying a zoomed in
photo of the theatrical poster (that kangaroo's planning something). The
front menu is animated and each feature upon selection spawns an
annoying clip of Jackie Legs. There are 28 chapters.
If this is any indication of the films kids have to look forward to then
I weap for the future. I remember when I was a kid in between viewings
of Homeward Bound I was watching Robocop and Ghostbusters. I'm sure they
get a healthy dose of The Matrix now and then but this oversaturrated
commercialized piece of garbage they call "family entertainment" needs
to be retooled. This film is still a kids movie and if you have kids
then give it a spin for them, they'll get a kick out of it (no pun
intended). But for us more experienced filmgoers we have plenty to look
forward to films and things like this to skip entirely..
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
