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Dom Robinson reviews

Minder On the Orient Express

Distributed by
Digital Entertainment

    Cover
  • Cert:
  • Cat.no: DED 6037
  • Running time: 106 minutes
  • Year: 1985
  • Pressing: 2000
  • Region(s): 2 (UK PAL)
  • Chapters: 13 plus extras
  • Sound: Dolby Digital 2.0 (Mono)
  • Languages: English
  • Subtitles: None
  • Fullscreen: 4:3
  • 16:9-enhanced: No
  • Macrovision: Yes
  • Disc Format: DVD 5
  • Price: £14.99
  • Extras: Photo Gallery

  • Director:

      Francis Megahy

    Producer:

      George Taylor

    Screenplay:

      Andrew Payne

    Music:

      Denis King

    Cast :

      Arthur Daley: George Cole
      Terry McCann: Dennis Waterman
      Nikki South: Amanda Pays
      Dave: Glynn Edwards
      Rycott: Peter Childs
      Chisholm: Patrick Malahide
      Helen Spender: Honor Blackman
      Mark Graves: James Coombes
      Meredith Gascoyne: Maurice Denham
      James Crane: Adam Faith
      Ted Moore: James Faulkner
      Francois: Ralph Bates
      Harry Ridler: Ronald Lacey
      Angelo Cappelloni: Manning Redwood
      Angelo's Girlfriend: Debbie Arnold
      Browning: Karl Howman
      Pope: Jesse Birdsall


While we wait for the series to hopefully get a complete DVD release, Arfur and Terry begin on DVD with Minder on the Orient Express.

While out on a security job, Terry (Dennis Waterman) spots a young woman, Nikki South (Amanda Pays), being attacked on the street and mugged. As ever the ladies' man rushes over to help out and she rewards him with two first class tickets for a trip above the Orient Express. Naturally, Arthur Daley (George Cole) steps in to botch things up such that the ticket for the first choice of Terry's totty instead goes to our "car salesman of the year", or something like that.

There's bluff and double-bluff abound as the bullion stolen in a robbery orchestrated by the late Jack South has never been recovered. Those starting with the loot are Nikki and her fiance Mark Graves (James Coombes), but they are pursued by such luminaries as hard man James Crane (Adam Faith), the slimy Harry Ridler (Ronald Lacey), his accomplice, Helen Spender (Honor Blackman), gangster Angelo Cappelloni (Manning Redwood) and we must give a mention to his gorgeous, busty, blonde girlfriend played by Debbie Arnold, who turned up in Eastenders a couple of years ago and the years have still been kind to her.

On the side of the law is the ever-failing Chisholm (Patrick Malahide) who teams up with French detective Francois (the late Ralph Bates) from Interpol to crack crime as only they (don't really) know how (!)

Any violence or fisticuffs is as cartoon-like and fake as it ever was, plus there's the inclusion of the Winchester's sarcastic barman Dave (Glynn Edwards) and it's also probably the only PG-certified film to feature the word "ejaculated", even though it's a faux pas from Arfur.


Presented in 4:3 fullscreen as originally filmed, the picture is very clean and pretty much free of artifacts, even if it is showing its age a little. It's a shame that after the widescreen release of The Sweeney on DVD from PT Video the same treatment hasn't been applied here. The average bitrate is a mediocre 4.55Mb/s, occasionally peaking over 6Mb/s.

The sound is bog-standard mono which never gets a chance to shine, but the dialogue is clear.


Extras :

Just a Photo Gallery with ten measly pictures that you'll never tire of ignoring after the first viewing.

There are a mere 13 chapters, no subtitles and the menus are static, even if they do feature a piece of the music made for this TV special.


I'm a big fan of the old-style Minder where Arfur used to turn up at Terry's flat to be greeted by the sight of big-titted blondes roaming around with their threp'ny bits flopping about, in the days before Waterman left and Anthea Turner's brother-in-law, Gary Webster turned up to make a comparative mockery of the format.

It's a shame there's no extras to speak of and a complete lack of subtitles, but the budget price is still worth it given that it won't cost much more than the video tape.

FILM CONTENT
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS



OVERALL

Review copyright © Dominic Robinson, 2000.

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DVDfever.co.uk - Est. February 25th 2000

As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B 37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.

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