Subtitles: English for the hearing impaired, Spanish
Widescreen: 2.35:1
16:9-Enhanced: No
Macrovision: Yes
Disc Format: DVD 9
Price: $23.99
Extras : Photo Gallery, Original Theatrical Trailers
Director:
Franklin J. Schaffner
Cast:
Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore,
James Daly, Linda Harrison
Let me start with the bad, and just get it out of the way right off the bat.
For some reason that I cannot fathom, Fox chose to give away the ending of Planet of
the Apes right there on the DVD box. And in a BIG way! So if you haven't seen the movie,
close your eyes when you pick it up (and close your eyes through the menus too!),
or rent it from Netflix, where it arrives in a plain paper package.
That said, I'm gonna give away the ending too, but unlike Fox, I'm warning you
ahead of time. First, let me jump right to the DVD details and I'll cover
stuff about the movie later.
When it comes to image and sound, Planet of the Apes spun nicely in my player.
The movie does show a tad bit of wear, mainly in desaturated colors, but it
looks very good overall. Crisp and clear. And let's face it, this movie doesn't
rely on colors for impact anyway, so almost nothing has been lost over the
years.
The 5.1 sound remix fares about the same. Not the most enveloping experience, but
there really isn't too much opportunity for rear-channel usage. That grating,
post-modernist soundtrack, care of Jerry Goldsmith, does benefit from this
new mix - though I must admit, I'm not too sure my nerves appreciated that
you've-just-entered-the-Twilight-Zone feel (I have to wonder if this sonic
sensation a coincidence, as Twilight Zone creator Rod Serling penned the
screenplay).
Feature-wise, the Planet of the Apes is relatively bare-bones: a photo gallery,
for example, that ranks as totally inane - I'm not sure how five pictures constitutes
a "gallery." Then again, given that the menu graphics provide a plethora
of spoilers, I don't think I would've wanted more features on this disc anyway!
Besides, Fox actually set aside a completely different disc for their real
special feature. "Behind the Planet of the Apes," included if you purchase
the full-blown Planet of the Apes: The Evolution Box Set, is a two hour documentary
produced for television. It details almost every aspect of the five Apes flicks.
I, for one, always thought the series was planned as a whole, but the documentary
set me straight! I don't think there's a single stone unturned here, which makes
the Box Set a must-have for real Apes fans.
Now, when it comes to the movie iteself, I'm in a bit of a bind. (Yep,
spoiler time!) Of course, there's no
denying that Planet of the Apes is a Science Fiction classic. A great
concept from start to finish. And social commentary in the vein of the
genre - though, it's an annoyingly blatant bang on Fundamentalism,
expressed in a backwards retelling of the infamous Scopes Monkey Trials
(I kid you not!).
But here's the deal. I saw Planet of the Apes as a kid. I mean like 10
or something. I remember the ending vividly because it was such a
surprise. Noooo... Not because of that Statue of Liberty cameo.
But because Taylor was so darned stupid. When he slammed his fist into
the water, I had to ask my Mom, "Why is the astronaut so mad?" She
said, "because he's on Earth." No duh, Mom! Or, more accurately,
no duh, Taylor. I knew he was on Earth. And I was just a kid.
So what about Taylor??? I mean, I thought astronauts were supposed to
be smart (and suddenly my 10-year-old mind realized that deductive
reasoning gave me a big advantage over these futuristic space pilots).
I don't remember what keyed me in on the "surprise" as a kid. But with
DVD in hand, I found several things that just didn't add up - things
Taylor certainly should have caught. Not just one, but... you guessed
it... Ten things...
Top-10 Things that Just Don't Make Sense on the Planet of the Apes
10. Apes speaking.
9. Apes writing.
8. Apes speaking and writing perfect English.
7. Astronauts who think they're 300 Light Years from Earth even though
the Apes speak and write perfect English.
6. How a guy who gets shot in the throat by an Ape ends up President of
the NRA.
5. If an Ape can have such a debonair English accent, why can't I?
4. Why a guy caged up with a babe in a loin cloth would want to escape.
3. How 3 male astronauts were supposed to populate a planet with only 1
female.
2. Why anyone would sign onto a mission with such a low chick ratio.
1. How mankind survived long enough to achieve deep-space travel when
the person in charge of the space program thinks three men can populate a
planet with only one woman, but is still able to find three men stupid
enough to sign onto a mission with such a low chick ratio anyway.
See what I mean? Stupid, stupid astronauts!
And while some of that same stupidity went into designing the case and
menus of the Planet of the Apes DVD, it's still a worthwhile endeavor
on disc.
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
