Mad Cows
is a disjointed comedy farce in which Maddy's (Anna Friel, using the accent
left over from
Rogue Trader)
hormones go into overdrive when she gives birth, but later gets arrested while shopping in the local
supermarket for stealing peas, stuffed down her bra to relieve breast pain. She's sent
to prison (as if) and discovers the only way to escape is to visit the in-house psychiatrist
Dwina Phelps (Anna Massey), although she cons her into signing adoption papers for
a childless couple, the female half being played by Elizabeth Berrington
(The Lakes, My Wonderful Life).
In a bid to overturn things, a prison visit from her best friend Gillian (Joanna
Lumley, basically playing her AbFab character Patsy) gives Maddy the chance to
sneaks her baby out in Gillian's handbag (but how come the prison officers didn't spot his
sudden disappearance?)
And so it goes on from there in quite predictable fashion, with little to say other than
to list the acres of cameos including Noel Gallagher, his now-ex-wife Meg Matthews,
Harrods boss Mohammed Al-Fayed portraying himself as his own doorman, Game On's
Neil Stuke (the sexually confused Matt from series 2 onwards) and Eddie Marsan,
who played a one-off appearance as Stoat in series 2's "Heavy Bondage & Custard Creams".
Pop maestro Howard Jones appears incredibly briefly as a DJ, Rustie Lee, Jodie Kidd and
Sophie Dahl are prisoners, Emma Thompson's real-life partner and mother, Greg Wise
and Phyllida Law, are their own relatives here, the former playing Alex, the father
of Maddy's baby.
Prunella Scales is TV baby adviser Dr. Minny Stinkler,
Cold Feet's gorgeous Hermione
Norris is Alex's fiancee Petronella , author Kathy Lette appears as a browser
in Mothercare, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is elevated to the status of "celebrity",
Small Potatoes' cafe owner Omid Djalili and finally, Badi Uzzaman is
the Indian shopkeeper who has Maddy arrested. For those unfamiliar with his name, he's the man
who, literally, got the point from Robert Carlyle in Cracker: To Be a Somebody.
EiV have done a very good job of the picture. Presented in its original anamorphic
1.85:1 ratio, the only thing to mar it are some minor artifacts which won't be noticed
from the usual viewing distance. The widescreen framing is mostly well-used too.
The average bitrate is a so-so 5.16Mb/s, varying wildly and occasionally peaking over 9Mb/s.
And yes, EiV have blessed us with a Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack, often filled with loud
music from artists such as The Cardigans, Natalie Imbruglia, Rod Stewart, Cornershop,
The Corrs, Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg (yes, THAT one!), Robbie Williams,
Tom Jones, Edwyn Collins, Space, Sister Sledge, Chic and Propellerheads'
Bang On, the techno track which accompanied the Natwest TV adverts earlier this year,
not to mention some decent sound effects swishing around the speakers on occasion,
including the moment when Anna Friel shouts out Alex's name in the prison.
Extras :
We're promised "Over 16 minutes of extras!" on the cover. Yes, there's 17!
A 2-minute Trailer, an 7-minute Featurette comprising of film clips, chat from
the cast and crew - yes you know the drill, while the 8-minute Interviews section
repeats some of the same content - and adds to it - but without the music in the background
and includes comments from all the principal cast members, although Hermoine Norris becomes
"Himani Norris". Oh dear. None of them have much to say that will make you revisit
these extras either.
Menu :
A static and silent menu with options to start the film, select a scene or views the extras.
Overall, if you liked the film then it's certainly well-presented in terms of the picture
and sound quality, but it's rather lacking in supplemental material.
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
