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Me and my
Aortic Valve!

Dom Robinson reviews

Lesbian Lovers

Distributed by

    Cover
  • Cert:
  • Cat.no: DV 1024
  • Running time: 59 minutes
  • Year: 1994
  • Pressing: 2000
  • Region(s): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (UK PAL)
  • Chapters: 5 plus extras
  • Sound: Dolby Digital 2.0 (Dolby Surround)
  • Languages: English
  • Subtitles: None
  • Fullscreen: 4:3
  • 16:9-enhanced: No
  • Macrovision: Yes
  • Disc Format: DVD 5
  • Price: £19.99
  • Extras : Scene index, Photo gallery, DVD-ROM content (pictures)

  • Cast:

      Not given.


film pic

"When I said I wanted a 'bodice-ripping epic'..."

Lesbian Lovers is a title that leaves nothing to the imagination. Alas, as is typical of a video shot for the UK market, any penetration shots are edited out. Given that this is an all-woman film there's no cock-shots to remove, but instead we get a number of scenes that have been filmed so the necessaries are just out of view...


film pic

During the Victorian era's water shortage,
the whole family had to muck in at bathtime...


Comprising of seven short films over the space of about an hour, there's black-on-white action in Diary of a Victorian Lady, an immigration experience that the BBC's Airport would never screen before the watershed in Stripped and Searched, Linzi Drew vs. her jailer in Banged Up, radio ravers in L.U.S.T. 69 FM, rubber gear in Rubber Dollies, a splashing good time in Wenches Get Wet and PVC ahoy in Double Dutch.

The video makes no mention of the girls' names.


film pic

And before the loofa was invented...


As usual for this sort of title and the Ben Dover DVDs that have preceeded it, the encoding is surprisingly first-rate with no artifacts to be found. The camerawork isn't always all it could be, so it loses a point for that. The average bitrate is a very good 7.90Mb/s and if you have a widescreen TV and want to zoom in on the picture, don't let me stop you.

The sound quality brings across clear dialogue and other 'special effects', literally consisting of moaning and groaning but not much else.


film pic

At Immigration, Jane's anal probe
always got to the root of the problem...


Extras :

Chapters :

For some reason this disc has 10 chapters. It's surprising because while the first one is the opening credits and a brief teaser of what's to come, followed by a chapter for each of the seven situations, the ninth comes right at the end with a smiling shot of the two girls in Double Dutch and the tenth is just a black screen - or have I gone blind after an hour's viewing?!

Languages & Subtitles :

English dialogue and the occasional primitive grunt. No subtitles.

DVD-ROM content & Photo Gallery :

Put the DVD in a DVD-ROM-capable PC and there's 35 pictures available, none featured here as I used screengrabs, but they're mainly glamour shots or ones where the girls pose for the camera. All are in JPG form for your PC, but some of them are replicated in the Photo Gallery.

Menu :

Static and silent with choices to start the film from scratch, choose a girl-on-girl or view the photo gallery.


film pic

Guess who just got found out...


Overall, this is pure titilation and none of the hard stuff. None of the girls particularly "go for it" and even if they were to try you're not going to see it anyway.

According to the BBFC Website, no cuts were made to this release by them but you know it will have been pre-cut before submission. To give an example of this sort of thing, their site lists, for Lesbian Lovers 2 (on video) a limp 55-minute 18-cert version and a hard-on 64-minute Restricted-18 version, but no BBFC cuts in either cases.

film pic

It's bad enough being jailed,
but when you're Siamese twins joined at the clitoris...

FILM CONTENT
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS



OVERALL

Review copyright © Dominic Robinson, 2000.

[Up to the top of this page]

DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TXW32R4 32" widescreen TV connected to either a Creative Dxr2 DVD-ROM player or Microsoft Xbox and played through a Sony STR-DB930 amplifier.

PC games reviewed by the editor are on:

  • Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
  • Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
  • Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
  • Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
  • Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP