Subtitles: English, English for the hard of hearing, Dutch, Hindi
Widescreen: 1.85:1
16:9-Enhanced: Yes
Macrovision: Yes
Disc Format: DVD 9
Price: £19.99
Extras:
Director's Commentary; Deleted and Extended Scenes; Alternate Opening
Sequence; Cracking the Case Documentary; Animated Trip Featurette on the
development of the opening title animation, and more.
Director:
Shawn Levy
Producer:
Robert Simonds
Cast:
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Steve Martin
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Kevin Kline
Gendarme Gilbert Ponton: Jean Reno
Xania: Beyoncˇ Knowles
Nicole: Emily Mortimer
Laroque: Roger Rees
Agent 006 Nigel Boswell: Clive Owen
Cherie: Kristin Chenoweth
Yves Gluant: Jason Statham
A recent statistic revealed that films are much longer than they used to be.
Too long, according to many movie lovers. Perhaps because of sloppy editing,
the power of the director or just wanting to show where every last cent of
that enormous budget went. And this film is precisely 93 minutes too long.
It's not that the original Peter Sellers renditions of bumbling Clouseau
were as brilliant as many remember them. It's not that anything in popular
culture is sacred and cannot be remade. And it's not as if Steve Martin
isn't a comic genius and all-round aesthete who would be a shoo-in at
any fantasy dinner party.
So why is this version so dreadful in almost every way? Why does the heart
sink every time Martin launches into his faux-French accent? He was
brilliantly restrained in the recent and smartly arty Shopgirl, his
physical comedy was fabulous in The Jerk, All Of Me, and The
Man With Two Brains. Always playing the American guy at odds with the
rest of society - a misfit in his own land. But playing a Frenchman out of
place in France and briefly in the Big Apple? Non! Thees ees a meestake.
A beeg meestake, Steeve.
Supporting actors Kevin Kline, Jean Reno (who is more convincingly French as
he actually is French), and Emily Mortimer try their best. Brits
Clive Owen and Jason Statham are uncredited, which might be
a wise decision, though a close-up would probably reveal their tongues firmly
in their suave cheeks and their hands on their pay cheques. Beyoncˇ
flirts with the camera and gets to sing a big number, but her slim role
is virtually product placement.
Okay, Shawn Levy (of Cheaper By The Dozen fame) is no Blake
Edwards. And the contrived opening 'soccer' scene feels inauthentic, shiny
and Americanised. The plot noodles along with the Pink Panther diamond
going missing, the murder of the French soccer team's manager (Statham) and
the animosity between Kline's Dreyfus and his nemesis, Clouseau, potentially
setting up some drama, but really leading to a succession of pratfalls amidst
some establishing shots of Paris.
Scrabbling around for positives to take away from this DVD, there are one
or two enjoyable extras included, apart from the usual deleted scenes,
commentary and endless backslapping features. Beyoncˇ's fans will appreciate
some extra music from the Destiny's Child diva. The alternate opening
sequence, with 3D animation of the Panther instead of the more jokey
version they used, is worth watching. Plus you can watch a doco on how
the jokey version was developed.
One can only hope that they're not planning a follow-up.
As of April 2009, Blu-rays and DVDs reviewed by the editor are watched on a Panasonic TH-37PX80B
37" Plasma TV with a Sony BDP-1500 Blu-ray player and played through a Yamaha DSP-AX820 amplifier.
PC games reviewed by the editor are on:
Since Jan 2011: Intel Quad Core Dell XPS 8100, i7 CPU 860 @ 2.80Ghz, 8Gb RAM, nVidia GeForce GTS 240, Windows 7
Since Nov 2005: Intel Pentium D 830 3.0Ghz, 1Gb RAM, 128Mb nVidia GeForce 6700XL, Windows XP
Since Aug 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.66Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb GeForce4 MX440 graphics, Windows XP
Since May 2003: Intel Pentium 4 2.6Ghz, 512Mb RAM, 128Mb ATI Radeon 9600TX graphics, Windows XP
Since Jun 2002: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, 64Mb ATI Radeon 8500LE
Since May 2000: Intel Pentium III 600Mhz, 384Mb RAM, Windows 98 SE, Voodoo 3 3000 AGP
